I came in to work today to find this letter on my desk. It reads:
Dear Sir,
Re. Which? 2011, June, 38
Sorry, but I am not going to allow you to get away with it:
“bacteria” is NOT a singular noun!
I ask your organisation yet again. Why perpetuate ignorance? After all, you have so many “experts”!
Please do not reply , if your intention is to defend the indefensible.
Yours faithfully,
[a reader]
I plan to write many, many letters like this when I retire. Watch out everyone.
I have been having a lot of plural/singular strife over the past couple of days. First, there was the old “one in three people” monkey.
Should it be “one in three people believes Anna Friel is the most gorgeous woman in Britain” or “one in three people believe Anna Friel is the most gorgeous woman in Britain”?*
The production editor and the other subs at Which? all plumped for the latter – because the “one” is representative of many people and although it’s technically incorrect, it sounds more natural. However, when I put the question out on Twitter, the responses were unanimously (and indignantly) for the former – “one in three people believes”. And who says no-one cares about grammar on the web?
When I proposed the Which? stance that in this case “one” represented many, it provoked a Twitflurry. My favourite response came from @dannybirchall:
“I don’t think that deeper metaphysical concepts about ‘one being many and many being one’ apply to grammar. ‘One’ is singular.”
You have been told. Metaphysics don’t matter. Actually, I’m inclined to agree.
That was the first instance. Then, this morning, there was a second. This one combined the single/plural dilemma with the singular “they”. I had issued a proof with the following construction on it:
“Which? research has found that a typical household has a choice of more than 20 thingamyjigs if they decide to pay by direct debit.”
It’s an ugly sentence and I admit that it shouldn’t have slipped through my net. But on one of the returned proofs, it had been changed to:
“Which? research has found that a typical household has a choice of more than 75 energy tariffs if it decides to pay by direct debit.”
Ohh, nice. “It”? That’s just prioritising grammar above sense and downright decency. It needed changing, but not this! Oh, not this.
In the end, I went for:
“Which? research has found that a typical householder who has chosen to pay by direct debit has a choice of more than 75 energy tariffs.”
I’d be interested to hear what others would have done, in either of the above situations. Suggestions on a postcard…
*Reference to Anna Friel is entirely gratuitous
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